Name: Reverend Jessie Love-D'oh
Hometown: Ashland, MA
Attire: Nothing or my pink spacesuit
What I Did Before Joining: High Priest of the Moonies of Jupiter and chief fundraiser for the Clinton-Gore campaign
Role Within The Group: Interpretation of the Sacred Spirals and Loops of the Holy Oracle of the Knights of Yahweh and the chief fundraiser for the Clinton-Gore campaign.
Goals and Aspirations In The New World: To genetically engineer a cross-breeding between a pumpkin and a duck resulting in the first dumpkin pie.
Thoughts On Group Life: Great except there should be more super-models.
Hobbies: Decoding the secret messages sent by the Munchkins in the "Wizard of Oz", fundraising for the Clinton-Gore campaign, watching reruns of "The Avengers", drilling the holes in saltine crackers and hiking.
Candidate # 8245
Hometown: Bumpass, VA (really)
Attire: Clothes that are the BOMB!
What I did before joining: Youngest cheerleader for the Redskins.
Role within the group: Official lollypop tester.
Goals and aspirations in the new world: To grow up and marry Lance from NSYNC, then persuade him to give all his money to the KoY.
Thoughts on group life: I miss my teddy bear and hamster.
Hobbies: Playing with my Lance doll while listening to NSYNC.
Candidate # 10, 432
Name: Lurleen Turnover
Hometown: White Rock, AZrisonea
Attire: Mah bestest outfit from Goodwill
What I Did Before Joining: Lernin' HTMLS and kissin' Gregg
Role Within The Group: Don't righly kno' yets
Goals and Aspirations in the New World: Makin' out wit' Gregg (he is the sexyest boyfreind I habs yet!) and morr HTMLS
Thoughts on Group Life: It ain't as crowdowded as teh Trayler park and folks don' scream as much
Hobbies: Gregg and listenin' to Shaiaian TWain and Brittteny Spearss. They sez I looks jest lik' Britttenny
Candidates #11, 234 and 11,235
Names: The Magnificent Melvin and Melv Jr.
Age: 60ish and 45 years in a trees age
Hometown: Las Vegas
Attire: Anything made of Silver Lame or sequinesque, light-catching and stand-out-from-the-crowd.
What I Did Before Joining: Working the Congo Room at Barts Casino
Role Within The Group: Official Media and PUblic Relations for the Knights of Yahweh - Prince Victor feels that any and all news sounds better coming from a ventriloquists dummy than from an actual person.
Goals and Aspirations In The New World: Marvin - To Be Famous! Marv - To get Marvin's hand out of my ass.
Thoughts on Group LIfe: Hey, babe! It's groovier than Swingin' Vegas
Hobbies: Polishing our stage clothes and constructing elaborate creations entirely out of frosting and straw.
Name: Andy Farhtknockwurst
Age: 13 going on brain-dead
Hometown: Fulda, Germany
Attire: Whatever is officially sanctioned for wear by the National Skateboarders and Smartasses Association of America.
What I did before joining: I spent my days riding my skateboard, playing video games, auditioning for "Jackass" and doin' evil stuff with my mom's computer.
Role within the group: Polisher of Prince Victor Diamonds custom built purple skateboard. Change the trucks and wheels daily too...Victor deserves only the best!
Goals and Aspirations in the New World: victor has promised me that I can turn the Grand Canyon into the world's biggest skateboard park after the Comet.
Thoughts on group life: Better than rooming with my smelly little sister or my loose big sister.
Hobbies: Crashing into stuff with my skateboard, poo diving, fartfugnuggin and playing baby.