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Friends Of Prince Victor Diamond |
Candidate #1616 Name: Reverend Jessie Love-D'oh Age: 196 Hometown: Ashland, MA Attire: Nothing or my pink spacesuit What I Did Before Joining: High Priest of the Moonies of Jupiter and chief fundraiser for the Clinton-Gore campaign Role Within The Group: Interpretation of the Sacred Spirals and Loops of the Holy Oracle of the Knights of Yahweh and the chief fundraiser for the Clinton-Gore campaign. Goals and Aspirations In The New World: To genetically engineer a cross-breeding between a pumpkin and a duck resulting in the first dumpkin pie. Thoughts On Group Life: Great except there should be more super-models. Hobbies: Decoding the secret messages sent by the Munchkins in the "Wizard of Oz", fundraising for the Clinton-Gore campaign, watching reruns of "The Avengers", drilling the holes in saltine crackers and hiking. Candidate # 8245 Name: Laura Age: 9 Hometown: Bumpass, VA (really) Attire: Clothes that are the BOMB! What I did before joining: Youngest cheerleader for the Redskins. Role within the group: Official lollypop tester. Goals and aspirations in the new world: To grow up and marry Lance from NSYNC, then persuade him to give all his money to the KoY. Thoughts on group life: I miss my teddy bear and hamster. Hobbies: Playing with my Lance doll while listening to NSYNC. Candidate # 10, 432 Name: Lurleen Turnover Age: 13 Hometown: White Rock, AZrisonea Attire: Mah bestest outfit from Goodwill What I Did Before Joining: Lernin' HTMLS and kissin' Gregg Role Within The Group: Don't righly kno' yets Goals and Aspirations in the New World: Makin' out wit' Gregg (he is the sexyest boyfreind I habs yet!) and morr HTMLS Thoughts on Group Life: It ain't as crowdowded as teh Trayler park and folks don' scream as much Hobbies: Gregg and listenin' to Shaiaian TWain and Brittteny Spearss. They sez I looks jest lik' Britttenny Candidates #11, 234 and 11,235 Names: The Magnificent Melvin and Melv Jr. Age: 60ish and 45 years in a trees age Hometown: Las Vegas Attire: Anything made of Silver Lame or sequinesque, light-catching and stand-out-from-the-crowd. What I Did Before Joining: Working the Congo Room at Barts Casino Role Within The Group: Official Media and PUblic Relations for the Knights of Yahweh - Prince Victor feels that any and all news sounds better coming from a ventriloquists dummy than from an actual person. Goals and Aspirations In The New World: Marvin - To Be Famous! Marv - To get Marvin's hand out of my ass. Thoughts on Group LIfe: Hey, babe! It's groovier than Swingin' Vegas Hobbies: Polishing our stage clothes and constructing elaborate creations entirely out of frosting and straw.
Candidate #22,791 Name: Andy Farhtknockwurst Age: 13 going on brain-dead Hometown: Fulda, Germany Attire: Whatever is officially sanctioned for wear by the National Skateboarders and Smartasses Association of America. What I did before joining: I spent my days riding my skateboard, playing video games, auditioning for "Jackass" and doin' evil stuff with my mom's computer. Role within the group: Polisher of Prince Victor Diamonds custom built purple skateboard. Change the trucks and wheels daily too...Victor deserves only the best! Goals and Aspirations in the New World: victor has promised me that I can turn the Grand Canyon into the world's biggest skateboard park after the Comet. Thoughts on group life: Better than rooming with my smelly little sister or my loose big sister. Hobbies: Crashing into stuff with my skateboard, poo diving, fartfugnuggin and playing baby.
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