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And still the new members stream in and join our group of religious life!



Candidate # 22

Name: Boris Badanoff

Age: 32

Hometown: Coldashell, Siberia

Attire: Usually just speedos or some type of stretch garment

What I did before joining: I was a wrestler with with WWF in Amerika. I always wrestled as a "baddie"

Role Within The Group: That is still being worked out at this time.

How I joined: I was having a fitting for new purple speedos when the fitter informed me that I could not have them in purple as the man in the next fitting booth had just purchased all the purple in the shop. I stuck my head in to tell this jerk that I needed the purple too he had such a look of peace about him that I was forced to ask his secret...

Goals and aspirations in the New World: Not sure yet....I have to go lay down....Captain Insano gave me a vicious kick to the head the other night and I am still seeing double.

Thoughts on group life: Better than growing up in Siberian labor camp...

Hobbies: brewing potato vodka and pounding nails in with my forehead...


Candidates #23, 24 and 25


Name: Lavender Hill Gang

Age: Old enough to know better but too young to care

Hometown: Seattle, WA

Attire: Whatever we feel like donning that day but when we work we wear all black and stockings over our faces

What we did before joining: You could say that we were sort of like a modern day clan of Robin Hood

Role within the group: Helping new members divest themselves of their material possessions

How we joined: We were at the Seafirst Bank in Seattle about to make a withdrawal when this supermodel in line started telling us about Prince Victor

Goals and aspirations in the New World: To serve Prince Victor and set up the first security systems in the New World

Thoughts on group life: We love it!

Hobbies: Practicing our disguises and costumes and checking out the quickest way in and out of the local banks.....

Candidates #26 and 27

Name(s) : Elaina and Mike

Age : 17 (both) Hometown : Washingtonville, New York

Attire : Dress + Tux

What I did before joining : Our lives had no direction before joining the Knights of Yahweh.

Role within the KoY : We take care of the Jesus Rats

How we joined : We met Prince Victor at the local rat-race, and from that point on we were inspired.

Goals and Aspirations in the New World : To please Price Victor. When he says jump, we say how high.

Thoughts on Group Life : We enjoy group living, and can't remember what it was like before.

Hobbies : Training at the rat circus, playing the guitar, dancing, and hula-hooping.